Blomotional Strategies

Good day, Blogophiles!     

Today’s title, Blomotional Strategies sounds dirty, but really, it’s just a hybrid of blog and promotional.  And it’s my title because today I’m going to write about promotions and business.  Whenever I write business, you should pronounce it Bizz-Nass in your head, which indicates that I am writing about it in a flippant and sardonic way and that I actually know nothing about it.

First order of business: I’m currently trying to sell a bunch of old stuff on Ebay: DVDs, video games, chaps, the usual.  I’m totally out of storage space, and one of the best ways I can think of to support myself as a writer is by selling things I don’t need.  Unfortunately, no one else seems to need them either.  No bids yet. 

I also took my wedding dress to be cleaned because I’m thinking of selling that on Ebay, too.  Especially since it’s going to cost me $140 bucks to clean it.  That’s right, I’m paying more to clean my wedding dress than I’ve paid for anything else in my closet (except a pair of size 28 Seven Jeans, worn exactly once before my thyroid disorder was diagnosed–available now on Ebay!).  I’d like to solicit feedback on the idea of selling my wedding dress: feel free to comment.  Am I being anti-sentimental?  Should I be crafty and make it into an outfit/pillow/shroud/parachute/1000 hankies? Or do I have to keep it in my closet for the next 50 years attracting moths and taking up space?

Next stop on my morning of commerce, the consignment shop, where I was hoping to unload more premium denim (this time, too big!), and several shirts which I finally admitted a) will never come back in style b) I am too old to wear.  Some of you may remember that whole 70s porn-star phase I had right after college, which involved a lot of metallics and pleather.  I want to apologize for that.  And offer you any pieces from the collection you might secretly have admired–yours now at bargain basement prices.

The real promotional excitement happened as I tried to do my good deed for the day.  “Excuse me, sir, excuse me,” I called out, running to thwart the unfolding tragedy.  “There’s a cup of coffee on top of your car!”  He laughed and handed me a $5 Starbucks gift-card!  And this was no ordinary car, it was a Zip Car!  Starbucks and Zip Car–two great tastes that apparently go great together.

“It’s not coffee, it’s a magnet,” he explained, as he zoomed off to foist free coffee on the next unsuspecting do-gooder.  

I was pleased, of course, but I also felt duped!  And it got me thinking, what other sorts of fake scenarios could companies concoct to reward us for trying to be decent human beings.  Perhaps Nine West and Cottonelle could team up.  If we tell the woman she has toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe, we get a $10 shoe coupon (shupon, obvs) or a roll of toilet paper.  Or maybe no teaming up is necessary.  Glide floss could reward us for telling a stranger he has spinach in his teeth, or I could strategically place a boogie in my nose and give you a trial size pack of Kleenex if you point it out. Yes, it seems guerrilla marketing really is the wave of the future (except here in Boston, see ).

Maybe that’s how I can unload some of this stuff.  I’ll go out without pants, and if a stranger points out I’m not wearing pants, she can buy my old jeans for half-off whatever it is I’ve decided to charge for them! Everybody wins!


2 comments so far

  1. ashley on

    I love your blog, Leda. But more importantly, I love that you also possess the “disorder” of combining words like shoe and coupon to “shupon.” My constant contration-making drives Bill crazy.

    Anyway. I have no advice on the wedding dress as mine is currently sitting in a closet of my parents’ house awaiting my decision on the same topic.


  2. Jo on

    I sold my wedding dress on eBay. A key difference between your wedding dress and mine might be that you wore yours. And got married. In it. I hope you get a lot of money for it! We can spend it all on booze!

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