A Social Experiment

Yesterday, John and I decided upon a social experiment.  As we popped the cork of a bottle of champagne to celebrate his acceptance of a job offer for next year, we agreed to have a snark-free evening.  What’s that, you say, dear reader: you can no more imagine John being snarky than you can imagine me being snark-free? Well first of all, poop on you.  Second of all, within the confines of our own home, John and I engage in a fairly balanced, tit-for-tat snarkfest.

I will now take bets on who snarked first.

You lose.

It was Muckle.

Eight minutes into the experiment, he said, “And that’s why men are better than women.”

Now for a quiz.  Was he referring to:

a) penises

b) muscle mass

c) the patriarchy

d) Wham! Fantastic, the first CD I ever owned

e) Y-Chromosome DNA

But, fair readers, it wasn’t a sweep.  Four minutes after John’s first barb, I uttered the following, “Some Christian you are.”

Was I alluding to Muckle’s propensity to

a) pray to Hecate

b) disbelieve the story of Genesis

c) lie to his parents about where he is calling from

d) eat latkes

e) don hot pants

Regardless,  I think we learned something: going snarkless is fine, but it’s always fun to criticize fundamental qualities like gender and religion.  And Muckle looks really good in hot pants.

To top it all off, later that night, I learned that I had won John’s apartment cleaning services in the recent Sloan charity auction.  Now I get six hours of apartment cleaning from him, and I don’t have to feel guilty. And you can be darn sure he’ll wear those hot pants as he cleans.

I’ll warn you when the cleaning is going down so you don’t accidentally stop by for a visit (or so you can plan a “surprise” visit accordingly).

Now that’s what I call a marriage.


1 comment so far

  1. nina on

    what a deal. i’m jealous!
    xo Nina

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