Eat Pray Love Stalk

Husband/Investigator John.  He's posing as a neighborhood resident enjoying a stroll and an iced coffee.  Here, he shows us the truth: "I'm watching you, Julia and James and sundry crew members."

Husband/Investigator John. He's posing as a neighborhood resident enjoying a stroll with an iced coffee. Here, he shows us the truth: "I'm watching you, Julia and James and sundry crew members."

My second post as a celebrity stalking blogger and I’ve already dispatched an assistant to do my dirty work.  That’s code for “A major motion picture is filming in my neighborhood, but I’m trapped on a bus to Hartford, so I’ve sent my husband on a mission to collect photographs.”

The aforementioned major motion picture is Eat, Pray, Love, based on the memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert that I haven’t read.  It stars Julia Roberts.  And you can turn that IMDB rumor into a trumor: James Franco does indeed costar.  That’s right, my intrepid reporter/husband snapped a photo of Mr. Franco heading down Atlantic Avenue to his trailer.  Mr. Franco and I have something in common; we are both students at creative writing MFA programs in New York.  Of course, it wasn’t enough for him to outdo me in the looks, fame, and wealth department.  He’s also showing me up by attending two schools, whereas I only go to one.  And I haven’t even started yet.  Oh well, I guess I won’t be chatting him up about the writing life at a local coffee shop anytime soon.  Sorry, James.  I’m on location for my job, too, in Vermont.  Actually, on a bus.

James Franco

See that dark-haired head on the right? The guy walking with the skinny girl? John assures me that it's James Franco, and I believe him. This blog seems to specialize in tiny, distant pictures of celebrities. You might say we're a new, unobtrusive breed of paparazzi.

So above is the photo John took of James Franco, after walking five feet behind him for quite a while, but waiting until he crossed the street to take James’s picture.  John didn’t see the point in taking a picture of his butt, but I bet there are plenty of people who would be quite pleased to see a picture of his butt (James’s, not John’s, although let me tell you, John has a really great butt.  It’s just not famous.  Yet.)  As you can see, the photo was taken at 164 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn–the border of Cobble Hill/Brooklyn Heights, aka, a view I can see from my bedroom window.  Maybe, just maybe, immediately after this photo was taken, James Franco looked up and tried to peep into my room.  It would serve me right.  But the joke is on him, because 1) I just got new blinds.  And 2) I’m still on a bus to Hartford.  Looks like only one of us will have our privacy violated today, James.

We actually learned about the shoot yesterday, when embarking on a failed mission to sneak onto public tennis courts without a permit (we wound up driving to Long Island to play tennis.  Ridiculous, especially when you consider how much I suck at tennis.)

The telltale shooting (film, not violent) signs were in full force: trucks with film equipment, important looking people talking on cell phones, nosy neighbors (like me!) congregating on the sidewalk, and no parking signs everywhere.  And I mean everywhere!  They stretch several blocks on Clinton, Atlantic, and Pacific.  Guess we won’t be moving our car ever again.  And by ever again, I mean Tuesday when the street-sweepers come.

We spotted burly men bringing film equipment into 172 Pacific Street, which is this adorable white house with a red door and beautiful windows–one of the places we fantasize about owning if we had a bazillion more dollars.  And of course, we felt a smug pride that some film director shared our tastes.  We were remarking on how obviously totally awesome our neighborhood is because this is the second shoot this week, when we passed by two men.

Before I continue with this story, it’s important for you to know that on my way to play tennis yesterday, I looked like this, except that I wasn’t even trying to make the Julia Roberts face that John coached out of me here:

Me, trying to make a Julia Roberts face while wearing an ugly tennis outfit.  Also pictured: badonka a donk.  I think it's the shorts, though.  Note to Julia: I'm sure your ass doesn't look like this, and mine normally doesn't either.

Me, trying to make a Julia Roberts face while wearing an ugly tennis outfit. Also pictured: badonka a donk. I think it's the shorts, though. Note to Julia: I'm sure your ass doesn't look like this, and mine normally doesn't either.

“Hi, Julia.”  One of them said.  I choked out some sort of confused, nervous giggling sound.  But I’ve gotten slightly bolder in my two forays into celebrity stalking, so I asked them what was shooting.

“Eat, Pray, Love,” They said.  “With Julia Roberts.”  Score double.  A huge, major movie being shot in the nabe (God, everytime I use that word it sounds like a body part, so that shot in the nabe sounds like a hideous sex crime!  Sorry!), and an allusion to my having some sort of celeb like qualities.  Probably the glasses.  But I’m going to pretend it was the confident, sexy charm.

Today I had hoped to spot some real celebrities before embarking on my work trip, but ran out of time and thus sent John to do so.   So far he’s been better with the info than the evidence (He’s too polite to shove his iPhone in people’s faces).  He was able to confirm that the actors’ trailers are located on Atlantic Avenue, between Clinton and Court.  Even more exciting, he actually spotted Julia and walked right past her, but claimed he was “too close” to comfortably take a picture.  Sounds like I should have trained my staff a bit more thoroughly before leaving town.  (Trained my staff can also sound dirty if you want it to).

He did, however, snag a photo of the real paparazzi, waiting around for one of these stars to show up.

Here are the real paparazzi, as photographed by John.  I enjoy the meta-ness of photographing the photographers.  Or paparazzing the paparazzi.  Maybe I can make a blogging career out of that!

Here are the real paparazzi, as photographed by John. I enjoy the meta-ness of photographing the photographers. Or paparazzing the paparazzi. Maybe I can make a blogging career out of that!

Such waiting is a lot easier to do if you live nearby, so you can run upstairs and pee, or change your outfit to blend in on set and maybe get cast as an extra (see my post on Gossip Girl).

And here’s a photo confirming the filming, so it doesn’t just sound like I made this whole thing up in a desperate effort to drum up blog material.

Nothing captures the excitement of a film shoot like no parking signs.

Nothing captures the excitement of a film shoot like no parking signs.

But stay tuned, faithful reader.  If John snaps a pic of Julia, you’ll be the first to know.  Actually, I will.  But I promise to share it with you right away.

Until then, I’ll try to absorb some of the self-helpy message of the film: I already ate pancakes this morning, I’m praying for a great picture of Julia, and I’m loving my life as a  Celebrity Stalkward blogger.

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6 comments so far

  1. Nina on

    I read Eat Love Pray! It just made me want to eat…
    xo Nina

  2. Karyn Bosnak on

    That white house with the red door is my favorite in the neighborhood! About 4-5 years ago I was walking by it and the woman who owned it came outside. I told her how much I loved the house and she thanked me and said that they just filmed a movie there. She said Julianne Moore was in it and she was excited b/c the producers redid her kitchen. I never did rent any Julianne Moore movies to find out which one it was.

    They’re filming at BookCourt tonight, too.

  3. I Need My Fix on

    ‘Eat, Pray, Love, Stalk’ I LOVE IT!!! 🙂
    I love your site!!

  4. Jo on

    This is my favorite celebrity blog! I am going to stalk my favorite celebrity blogger by inviting her to VT and then taking tiny pictures of her while she is here…

  5. Kara on

    So, I think 3rd anniversary should be “telephoto lens” anniversary since, as much as I love James Franco, I cannot recognize him or his butt in this photo. I believe you/John, but I’m just saying…your fans needs closer-ups. Fabu writing, btw. 🙂

  6. Mary Litton on

    Absolutely love John’s “I’m just a friendly neighbor enjoying my mochafrappucino” face. Your writing is fantastic, looking forward to reading more and hearing what you write in your program. Good luck with school!


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